Author Archives: Richard

MOVIE REVIEW: Gymkata (1985)

Just as one can argue that there are different types of good movies, there are also different types of bad movies. They can be bad due to directorial overreach, inane dialogue, inept acting, or awful effects. However, the worst sin a movie can commit is to be boring. Movies are inteded to entertain – when a movie fails to do even that, it is irredeemably Bad.

Boring movies are not the ones that attract legions of followers. It’s the others, the ones that fail on technical levels. The ones where we, the audience, can either point and laugh at the great heap of failure on screen, or gape open-mouthed in disbelief at what we have just seen. Those are the ones worth watching. And sometimes, even as we slog through the mountain of garbage, we discover something that makes us say, “You know, that bit wasn’t completely awful.”

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On the Matter of Giordano Bruno

So I’m watching “Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey” with Neil deGrasse Tyson…. and while impressive overall (the simple fact that a major network is devoting thirteen hours out of its schedule for a freakin’ science show is awesome enough!), I did cringe just a bit at the retelling of the myth of Giordano Bruno as a “martyr for science”. While they did give a bit more of his life (the fact that he was run out of towns by Protestants was new to me), they still oversimplified the case against him. He wasn’t executed for his cosmological beliefs. While they were one count in the indictment, there were seven others that were far more serious – like denying the divinity of Christ.

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Not Another Crimean War

A recent article in The Onion, that pillar of journalistic excellence, described how Americans are bitterly divided over the ongoing crisis in Ukraine between the grossly misinformed and the wholly apathetic. While there is some justification for being apathetic, being misinformed – especially if you want to have some influence in the matter – cannot easily be forgiven.

As the situation continues to develop, it might behoove us to reflect on the history of the area. Because if the United States is going to get drawn in to the conflict, we had better know what we are getting ourselves into.

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So, How Did They Do?

Earlier I had listed those Olympic athletes who were the sole representatives of their countries in Sochi. Given that the 2014 Winter Olympics are over, I thought it would be interesting to see how they did.

Note that when I give a result of, for example, 52nd of 60, that 60 refers to the number of athletes who crossed the finish line. It does not include all the DNSs, DNFs, and DSQs.

DNS; Did Not Start – For whatever reason, the athlete declined to compete. I’m going to assume it was due to illness and not something like equipment failure or not being there at the start when the race / their run was scheduled to begin. Olympic athletes have been known to share equipment when someone forgets to bring spares. And missing your start time is something too embarrassing to contemplate.

DNF: Did Not Finish – The athlete started, but did not cross the finish line. Perhaps they got hurt along the way, or were so far behind that they decided to save their strength for another competition.

DSQ: Disqualified – For whatever reason, they were either not allowed to compete or their results were wiped. Perhaps they ran afoul of one of the many obscure rules governing the Olympic version of their sport. Happily, there are very, very few of these. And none from our “soloists”

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Fixing the Olympics

So there’s a bit of a to-do today about apparent home-team favoritism in one of the many figure skating competitions in Sochi. The Grand High Masters of World Figure Skating may have made slight adjustments in their Super Double Secret Rules of Scoring to grant a victory to a Russian skater, instead of the perceived audience favorite.

Fans of the sport are all up in arms over this, demanding that Something! Be! Done!

Certainly, there are things that should be done. But nothing that requires the rolling of heads.

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MOVIE REVIEW: The Quiet Earth (1985, New Zealand)

A middle-aged man, Zac Hobson (Bruno Lawrence), awakens in bed wearing nothing more than an ID card on a lanyard. He doesn’t look in the best of shape; and neither does his alarm clock which seems to be taking far too long to go from 6:11 am to 6:12. He calls his job to let them know he’s going to be late, but gets no answer. When he does get on the road, the streets are strangely deserted. Vehicles are abandoned willy-nilly, and there’s no one at the gas station when he stops there. The bathroom door at the station is locked, but when he bends down to peek under it, he doesn’t see anyone inside. Growing more puzzled by the minute, he arrives at his job – which is at some sort of research facility. The place is completely empty, except for the badly burned corpse of another researcher at a control panel. Checking the facilities’ computers, he finds that something called “Project Flashlight” was activated at about 6:11 that morning – and he cannot get a single response from any of the project’s other installations around the world.

Just what the heck is going on?
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On Movie Remakes

With the new version of Robocop hitting the big screen this weekend, there will no doubt be (in addition to comparisons to the original) arguments over whether or not it is acceptable to remake a movie. Some movie buffs will be dead set against remaking any movie for any reason at all. Others will argue that it shouldn’t matter, especially if they haven’t seen the original (the subset of movie watchers who categorically refuse to consider watching a movie more than five or ten years old is a matter for another essay entirely).

While it is true that there’s no reason at all to remake a movie that is still good even in spite of the passage of time, there are indeed situations where a remake is actually warranted.
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Going it Alone in Sochi

At the Opening Ceremonies earlier today, viewers saw athletes from all over the world. The United States has 230 athletes participating (I believe that is the maximum number allowed by the IOC and general fairness); Russia has 226, and Canada 220. Nine other countries are sending over 100 athletes as well. No doubt these countries will be dominating the “Medal Count” tables – as if collecting the most medals means your country “wins” the Olympics.

The Olympics are not about which country gets the most “bling”. They are about athletes from all over the world getting together every four years to compete against each other. Sure, it takes a lot of time, money, and effort to get there. And there are minimum qualifications to be able to participate – they aren’t going to let just anyone come and play.

With extremely rare exceptions, you need the backing of a government to make it to the Olympics. Which is why they are dominated by the large and wealthy nations. But there are still small countries that manage to send athletes, and they are just as proud of them and cheer just as hard as any other country.

Here are the athletes who are the sole representatives of their countries:
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Great Moments in the Winter Olympics

One clear symptom of “Olympic Fever” is when the media starts producing lists of “Greatest Olympic Athletes” or “Top Olympic Moments”. One thing that should be obvious is the lack of respect given to the Winter Olympics.  While it is true that the Summer Games have around three times the number of events as the Winter Games, they’ve been around almost as long and have produced quite a number of great moments and great athletes.

Sadly, the lists of “Great Winter Olympic Moments” that I’ve seen are filled with jingoism (as if there were no athletes from outside the United States ever), and seem to consider controversies as “great moments”. Right…. Judging scandals and bribery are things we want to celebrate.

Let’s just leave it to the athletes – regardless of what countries they come from. Because every Winter Olympics has seen something worth celebrating.

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